As we move through life, we experience various stages where challenges are presented to us.
A famous poet, Ralph Waldo Emerson stated that our purpose in life was not to be happy but to be useful, to be honourable, to be compassionate, to have it make a difference that you lived it well.
Our human experiences enable us to adapt on what or who takes our main focus. For example, in marriage or partnerships, it might be that the focus is on the relationship, the purpose to be as successful together as you can be. If you lose that focus, then the outcome is unhappiness unless and until you either fix the problems or end the relationship and then you move on. You know then, that you must learn from the mistakes which ended that focus and develop a new purpose.
If you have children, the focus may change to bringing up your sons or daughters either in your own image or better than you experienced.
I never got a chance to go to university, but all my children and step children have had that experience and it looks as if my grandchildren, will too, well, those that I am aware of anyway. So they will also get this experience through the lives of their parents. So, I would like to think, I developed that as a focus, or a purpose. In my eyes, my purpose for them is to get a good education and this can be achieved and extended to the next generation from that desire to make a difference to their lives.
In a career, you might be aiming at a purpose to achieve the best you can within that profession. I certainly tried in my service career and got to the top of my rank tree but never achieved promotion to officer. Things were unfocused, I was always seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I have learned to seize opportunities since then and be in the right position to seize the day.
In my civilian employment, I have held jobs, but given too much away about myself to people, some who say and come across as if they are friends. I thought, I could influence them by my experiences. But I found that this is just a waste of time and is an unfocused activity which can turn against you. As they eventually turned against me.
In the world we live in now, of unconscious bias which is now being taught in business schools and used in some businesses as ethics - having a successful past and talking about is seen, perhaps nowadays, to be you just bragging what you have and they don't. So, the natural emotions of those envious of your success is to take you down a peg or two and in business this unfortunately works against your focus. Of course, it has good aspects and should engender respect, we see that in sport and taking the knee for example, but the list is growing and you should be aware of the things you may unconsciously fall into which can affect your focus and your purpose.
So be careful in the working environment on developing a specific purpose. Do your job - that's what you get the compensation for and respect your colleagues, but remember they are not your friends. They’re the one who doesn’t judge you when you make horrible decisions, but they do let you honestly know how stupid you can be sometimes.
Rule 1: Be compassionate to people but remember that you can count the friends you have, usually on one hand, don’t let them change your focus, which is to be successful for you not them.
With learning comes wisdom, but for me it has come quite late. Unfortunately you are not born with it and as such you rely on influences. Such wisdom gives us a choice or choices and we learn from the bad times and good times we experience.
I read, I write, I play the guitar. These are things which bring me joy in life. Nothing can interfere with those moments and challenge their being. You may play a sport which you love, have a penchant for wine, or go out with friends on a binge night but they too, are episodes which aid to balancing your focus.
Whereas in work, you have a role to achieve, whether its your business or somebody else’s you are the difference so be honourable to this focus and become an inspiration within your profession, and if you can achieve some respect, you’ve been useful in that mould; where things and people can interfere in the outcome, again just maintain your purpose – your focus.
Rule 2: Nothing comes from nothing you must apply some effort and maintain the focus for the work you are undertaking never let people interfere with you focus - your main purpose.
I have allowed myself, at times, to drift off focus and have, of late, considered myself, at 63, too old to get myself anything more from my life. But I know that I have a lot more to give and after many rejections from job applications. Why leave my current job you might ask? Because the purpose was achieved some time ago and I have now just put myself in cruise control.
Rule 3: If the focus is on the wain and the purpose has matured - refocus and re challenge the purpose to achieve more for you.
Today, I have managed to secure a final position to enable me to try and bring my skill-sets to the front of my brain. The past is the past and we all know that life is too short so its time for me to develop another purpose and my new focus is to get going and make a difference.
Rule 4: Learn from your mistakes. He who makes no mistakes, makes nothing in life. Refocus and keep developing your usefulness - your purpose.
POEM
Regrets? Of course there have been many
Once my focus was lost, but you must pick up that penny
That fell from a pocket, picked up by a stranger
A purpose must be developed, step through the danger
Keep your focus and you'll get more
Life is too short, don't let it bore
Live, love, laugh and be useful to yourself
Keep in mind my rules and you'll look after your health