Christopher Graham Collins, is a multifaceted talent known for his contributions to comedy, television, and radio. Throughout his life, he has navigated the entertainment industry with wit, charm, and a unique brand of humour that has endeared him to audiences worldwide. He lived in the same age era as me where his jokes now might be seen to be offensive. I saw him perform on Friday 15th March and he told me this joke and it goes like this; that a man falls in love with a mermaid and they are making love, (in the oral sense) and after a while the mermaid says “ do you want chips with that?"
Of course, he is better known today as Frank Skinner. He has overcome alcoholism to be a successful comedian and is now touring at 67 years old. His tour is called "30 years of dirt."
Like most of the audience, if not all of them, we laughed at his dirty jokes and he did apologise for dropping the "C" bomb early. There were "non baby boomers" in the audience, so I am guessing they too went home happy.
[Baby-Boomers are those born between 1946 and 1964- listen to Boom Radio]
Frank Skinner inspired me, but my name is still Vincent Taylor. Frank pursued various career paths like me. After attending a teacher training college, he worked as an English and drama teacher for a brief period. He does a poetry podcast which I now listen to and this led me to start writing poetry, indeed this blog, which has gone out over 40 times now, has a poem at the end of each session that's due to Frank.
Frank's passion for comedy eventually led him to leave teaching behind and pursue a career in entertainment and develop his material like these:
Another of his short stories recounted him on his way to a gig on a train and he saw a Goth girl, you know, with all the black lacey gloves, black lips, holed stockings and black painted nails and those big boots. She was sitting, with a man who she was obviously with but, HE had a nice shirt and jumper on and corduroy trousers and I thought no it can't be?
Then I heard over the train's loud speaker system “ if you see something strange….”
Frank is passionate about his football, like me and is probably where his time in education likely contributed to his ability to connect with audiences and craft witty, relatable material that has become his trademark. His football banter, celebrity guests, and irreverent humour in the Fantasy Football League," show which further solidified his status as a comedic powerhouse with his eponymous chat show, "The Frank Skinner Show, and his “Room 101” humour just cracks me up.
Beyond his entertainment career, Skinner is also an accomplished author, with several best-selling books to his name. His candid memoirs and humorous insights into life's quirks have resonated with readers, further solidifying his status as a cultural icon. So Frank is a sort of hero of mine, I wont be a stand up comedian but I am sort of working on trying to overcome my mistakes which occur sometimes as a circumstance of just living a normal life.
STORYTIME
Once upon a time, in the intricate tapestry of life, there lived a resilient soul whose journey was marked by both triumphs and trials. Born into humble beginnings, this individual harboured grand aspirations from a young age, fuelled by an unwavering determination to leave a lasting mark on the world. Perhaps to write that book which today has not yet surfaced.
As the years unfolded, our protagonist embarked on a path filled with promise and potential. Armed with ambition and grit, he set his sights on a career in the military, and was at first trained to become an engineer. One day an opportunity came about which led the young man to dream of becoming an instructor officer. He was then 28 years old.
Through years of diligent effort, he pursued an Art/ History Open University degree, secured a position at a prestigious teacher training college, and just had to received acceptance to the revered Royal Naval College at Dartmouth. He taught GCSE history to young naval ratings and went to night school to get a teacher training qualification, (achieving City and Guilds qualification). All of these things were the qualifying aspects, if you wanted to become an Instructor Officer in the Royal Navy.
Yet, fate had other plans, after five long years, the route to this desired officer role was abruptly closed. The MoD decided that they would no longer recruit for Instructor Officers.
Undeterred, our protagonist returned to his main engineering prowess and took the necessary promotion exams, to become an engineering officer, but losing five years over his contemporaries, it proved too much to catch up with for those who had been within his original colleague cohort and who were now naval officers (without passing the 3 day selection course) and were promoted after a short six weeks "knife, fork and spoon course" as it was termed at the Naval College. As such, all those who had passed the same exams as our protagonist were so much more now advanced in seniority.
However, our hero, persevered and waited on a "roster" but as time wore on he ran out of age (34) and the door to Officer was to be closed again. Again, undeterred, he had no choice but to work his way to the top of his tree, (to Warrant Officer).
At age 42, he was asked to apply again for Engineering Officer, this was initiated and supported by his Station Commander. The exams he once took, all those years ago were still in date and the age restriction had now been lifted. BUT, there was a condition. He had to attend a selection board as a proviso, and so he did.
The result was that we was not selected and having spent three days with young officer candidates working through imaginary problems they were selected, over the older candidate departing with a patronising statement; "you're probably a very good Warrant Officer." So, it was, after three days running around that this 40 plus year old was turned away and for the first time in years, on his long drive home, from Portsmouth to Helston in Cornwall, he pulled over the car and sobbed.
Other Pursuits
He left the service at age 47 with three medals, one being the Meritorious Service Medal, having done two back to back Gulf Patrols on the Type 22 Frigate, HMS Chatham and moved to civilian street. Choosing to leave the services earlier than predicted, channelling his expertise into the field of export controls upon leaving the service. In which he had served as a licensing officer for the MoD in his final work placement. He left to work in his first civilian job just outside of London in late 2005.
This event of leaving the service early, caused his divorce after twenty eight years of marriage and which mirrored his service time and togetherness, but he drew that inner strength too, as he embarked on a new career. Then, another set back, his father died from prostate cancer in 2006.
He encountered the complexities of civilian life, navigating through challenges with resilience and grace. Meeting another and falling in love and taking new responsibilities, such as two lovely children and rebuilding his life. Then his mother died in 2008.
Despite encountering setbacks, including workplace irregularities losing a job through jealous contemporaries and then through personal health concerns, including contracting prostate cancer our protagonist persisted, finding solace in an unwavering commitment to compliance and integrity and helping those who genuinely need and want his assistance.
Along the way, he has earned business accolades, from Chief Financial Officers, Managing Directors and gained a law degree at the age of 57, becoming a trusted advisor in matters of customs compliance and quality assurance.
The Moral of the story is :
Mistakes are not detours; they are waypoints on the map of resilience. Each misjudgement, each detour, shapes us. It’s not about avoiding wrong turns; it’s about recalibrating, learning, and finding meaning even in the unplanned deviations. Our hero’s legacy wasn’t flawless—it might be said that it was beautifully flawed, like a mosaic of triumphs and stumbles.
Dear readers, remember this: The path to greatness isn’t a straight line; it’s a dance of missteps and recoveries. Embrace the mistakes—they are the ink that writes your story. 🌟
Of course this is my story. Through it all, I learned invaluable lessons from life, I did get depressed at times and thought about giving up saying to myself, I made mistakes but, when I reflect back, maybe I just chose the wrong route? What I tried to do is follow a dream of being something other than someone who just went to work and got a job. I could have never been the someone I am today, if I had not had made the decisions I made. Through the set backs, I think I emerged stronger and more determined with each obstacle overcome.
How events shape your life is really in your hands and might be all down to your own fault. I couldn't have done any University degrees when I finished school. I wasn't deemed clever enough and the opportunities presented to those today are linked to Universities pulling in students for money oftentimes. So more and less clever people can attend these institutions . Some waste their education at this stage and drop out after a year or two. Others strive to make a career, (not a job) of their lot, some do Open University degrees in later life. of course, I wish I had secured a law degree earlier in life and then maybe, I would have earned a bit more money perhaps. But at the age I did get the degree, I would have had to do an Legal Practice Course, costing me more time and more money too and probably would have had to take a pay cut.
I guess my main aim was to try to become something better than my father who in the end was a storeman, lathe operator and concrete layer. A jack of all trades an master of none. To create his story, he had to overcome mistakes and adversity. He lived in troubled times growing up between the two world wars and one cannot think how those who gave their lives so we can live today had to work through mistakes, adversity and austerity. For my Dad, it was war with Japan, serving in Burma and my Mum being told in late 1944 that he had been killed in action*.
He gave up his inheritance to find his love and make something better for his children.
*Mistakenly the ward department had confused my Dad with another Corporal Taylor. My mum was removed from the house she lived with in marriage with my dad and which was then passed to his twin sister an her husband. He found my mum working in Kensington Palace as a cleaner and worked the rest of his life for his children, grand-children and overcame his life’s story - I was proud to be his son.
EPILOGUE
Everyone creates their own story. There are some who just want to journey along and without motivation will stay just journeying. Then there are those, who endeavour to make the best of their lives by grasping opportunities that come around every so often. They seize the day!
Me, I'm still learning the hokey pokey. Not all of it... but I've got the ins and outs. Thanks Frank!
What I do know is that:
"A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honourable but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing"
(George Bernard Shaw, Irish playwright)
Poem
Life, huh, a vast tapestry, with threads of personalised trials,
Life stumbles, you falter with setbacks, denials.
Maybe you have lofty aspirations, have an unforeseen fall,
But you CAN weather the storms, when you meet a brick wall.
Mistakes are like shadows, we all make a few,
But from such fuck ups, new paths will emerge into view.
Life huh, it twists and turns, you will learn to endure,
For each stumble you meet, is a lesson to secure.
Don’t let ambition be thwarted or your dream be deferred,
Use your inner resilience to ignite, be undeterred.
If you encounter a setback, you will find a way,
To rise with life and grow stronger, come what may.
It’s a journey folks, marked as trials unfold,
Yet within each challenge, your story is told .
For its mistakes which can make title chances much better ….
….If you don’t believe me ask Jurgen, Pep or Arteta?
So let the past be but a stepping stone,
To heights yet unseen, to dreams unknown.
Empower you inner wisdom, do it now do it all
For he who makes no mistakes, makes nothing, Fuck all !