Do you ever feel as if what you do is just something that appears to others as if the fairies have been over and sorted it all out?
I must admit, I have a little too much time on my hands these days, but I am hoping that I can get back to where I was a few years ago. That was when, I got up early every day to commute to work, put on my best bib and tucker and the spent eight hours in an office.
You What?
Look - these days, I have the time to cook, clean and iron as well as cut the grass and keep the bathroom clean, change the beds. I guess that’s called a ‘house husband’, in some circles?
I recently read of a couple, Diana and Richard. Diana earns £100k salary and Richard stays at home to look after the children You might think gosh he’s got it easy. Then you hear the words as the 'breadwinner' leaves for the office.
If you get five minutes….
Of course, five minutes is easy. However, if people think the things, you do, in fact take five minutes, why don’t they do them themselves?
It’s easy to say no and that’s what you should say if you find yourself, being taken for granted without any consideration. That’s the advice trained psychologists would tell you if it was a work situation. They might also say, have a one-to-one word with the person.
It might start off as ‘can you give me a handwriting my report’ or ‘My CV needs updating, John, can you take a look over it?’ – these leads onto, "John, my computer won’t boot up, be a doll and can you take a look” ; soon all your niceness is used against you as people take ownership of your skills sets and even take credit for your work!
One of the basic personality traits of people who are taken for granted is that they are unable to say no to others. If this sounds like you, it means that you are simply afraid that you may sound rude or arrogant if you say no. If you want to stop being taken for granted, you will have to put this fear aside and put your foot down to say no, should the need arise.
I was phoned this week, and asked if I was looking for work and that there was a job going for my skill sets which were a perfect fit. When I asked what the salary range was it was stated that it was £50k. Now, the job was a daily trip to Oxford with some hybrid work thrown in, 25 days holiday, bonus culture and 10% pension contribution by the employer. Not bad huh?
Currently, this salary gives around real wages of £39k a year after tax and the latest National Insurance hike. So for this salary, the job spec once received stated that it was to take care of export control functions, quality assurance functions and environmental quality control plus to lead a team of six, which of course means all that jazz about personal development, annual assessments etc.
If you benchmark all of these tasks a manager for each item would be around £30k - so it might tell you something huh - we be all the managers gone?
When I said no, the recruiter came back and said "would you go in at £55k?"
Sounds like a bidding session right? So, again, I said no, I might consider it for,£80k.
That should stop the conversation, I thought - we'll see, they now want to interview me next week:)
That example of taking people for granted, inspired this weeks blog, because being nice to others can be taken for granted. If you think that those folks are taking advantage of your niceness, it’s time you hung up your nice boots and placed them on a firm attitude. Be nice but use your discretion and arrange your stance whenever required.
Have that one-on-one chat with the people whom you think are indulging during this nasty practice. You should tell these people, clearly that you simply don’t appreciate that your work and efforts within the office go unappreciated.
On the domestic front- If you think that your loving partner is unknowingly taking you for granted without any consideration and therefore the situation is getting out of hand, you’ll have a candid one-on-one conversation with them and say “Look, I would like to be there for you all the time -I would like to assist you altogether with possible ways in which I can. But before you inquire from me for a favour, I’d appreciate it if you’ll give my schedule and work timings a fast thought”
But I would then confirm that you simply have a pleasant bottle of wine and dim the lights before you say this!
In your battle to prevent being taken without any consideration, you ought to attempt to search for answers to the question, “Why am I being taken for granted?” There could likewise be trademark qualities, situational components or simply the nearness of not really pleasant individuals around you.
Give this whole scenario a fast conscious check over and if necessary, pen down your thoughts. Find out how to affect the items that have given this example an opportunity to arise and advance.
POEM
A life less Ordinary
It’s easy, a life like yours
You get up each day and just do chores.
Your working day is done by ten.
I spend nine hours with businessmen!
You think I treat you really mean?
When I find the house is ultra clean and then
I can’t find things around the house,
And you didn’t iron my favourite blouse!
It’s your turn to cook again by the way -
I am tired from my gruelling day
One day, you’ll have a job like mine?
When I can stay home and waste my time
By the way, if you get five minutes today
I’ve left you a message, for things I want - I hope that’s okay?