I’ve been thinking this week about things that happen to be in the news. We love the news don’t we ?
Or maybe you just watch those streaming things on telly, you know NUTLICKS or Alexis Prime, the “that Does-me” channel or just “Rotten” Apple TV?
Well now, do what you should do and look at the real stuff that matters, the news.
This week has been dominated by poor Russell Brand. He apparently is a wellness guru now, Didn’t you know?
Wow, that beats the thing he was before a lousy actor with shit English flaky high pitched Essex accent who thought making jokes and shagging women for fun was cool in the naughties. Now they (the UK Gov) can’t stop his 27,000 a month Rumble show going out to deny that he’s the new Jimmy Saville, when he probably helped Sir Jimmy fix it for all those ‘guys and gals’ to have a good time getting him to the Greek or the children’s ward.
Now then, now then what’s all this about those middle aged men dressing up as Nazi’s and attending a festival in Norfolk ?
What’s wrong with that you may ask, some Nazis were OK weren’t they ? Anyway the festival was billed as “war themed event” come on, what else can you wear ?
Shh - Allo Allo, I will say zis only once...The Holocaust, used to attack these folks for wearing deaths head paraphernalia, outrageous.
Of course who can forget the lettuce prime minister, our nine day queen, sorry she was the P. M. dont make her laugh!
Our Elizabeth although she prefers Liz; she was making a comeback in the commons this week saying her tax schemes would have worked by now. Bless her cabbage face, of course they would darling you were robbed.
Now what is going on with the Tory party? One year from an election campaign and the guy in charge with the great hair, lovely teeth and the non-dom pretty wife makes a dramatic U turn (pardon the pun); going from green to Tory blue on defending petrol and diesel cars. Yes, we can help climate change by doing absolutely nothing and we can charge huge insurance hikes to new boy racers who seemingly have loads of dosh to learn to drive and pass their tests. Whilst "We Buy ANY car" just resales any old banger anyway.
Have you seen the traffic on a Sundays btw? Why aren’t these drivers at work?
Oh sorry, Sunday is a day of rest, they must be all going to Church, I only wanted a pint of milk from Tesco FFS but the traffic jam caused me to fill up the car with expensive go go juice again.
But did you notice when Sunak made his announcement that the sun came out although it took a little time, after sixteen hours of constant rain this week,the f**king sun came out!
But this was spoilt for me when Arsenal thrapped that weak Blind school Dutch outfit PSV (Possibly So Vacant) Eindhoven, 4-0 - of course then it bloody rained again!
Then the Scousers led by that bloke who should have been at the Norfolk festival and not on the touch line in Austria also just scraped by against some unknown Anschluss entity called LASK. Don’t ask me why they are in the Champions League. but they scored after 14 minutes!
Jurgen probably went into a Nazi rant at half time and all that fist thumping he does led his way to victory over the Austrians (again), but at least their vacant faced bun tying number 9 finally scored at least (through a penalty) which changed the game for the edelweiss’s. Hoping anyone who sports the replica shirt doesn't tie his hair up!
Speaking of the ‘bun thing’, that ugly Norwegian centre forward at City , he didn’t score !! Come on, Erling, stop thinking about your girlfriend!
This was a Serbian outfit, a team made up of all the letters of the alphabet AND whose team are made up of people with surnames ending in IC; The -ić suffix is a Slavic diminutive, originally functioning to create patronymics. Thus the surname Petrović means the little son of Petar (Petrić signifies the little son of Petra, the widow). Most Serbian surnames are paternal (father), maternal (mother), occupational, or derived from personal traits and 90% of the nation have a surname ending in IC.
So what about Djokovic, earning more money playing tennis was also in the sports news still unvaccinated , still an apt name; NO VAC. Don’t you think his opponents should now be wary about catching something from him, its only 78 feet from baseline to baseline and he shakes hands with his victims too before and fter the match - maybe that is why he wins all the time?
So I read in the World news, Libya got flooded, Morocco got trashed by an earthquake and the war in the Ukraine keeps going and going. But the BBC Didn’t stop airing their celebrity race around the world with eh, celebs, who we’ve never heard of using the our licence money to travel and start from - yes -Morocco must have been filmed earlier....
This week, in Poland their PM , Mateuesz Morawiecki, decided to not help (much) anymore. Come on guys, you’re closer then we were in 1938, don’t give up now.I draw on Boy George’s anthem on all this you might not remember, (my sister Sal would) -
I started thinking that WW3 might be even closer now that Putin as met Lil Kim as this song which became the group's seventh top-five hit on the UK Singles Chart entered my mind in Orwell's period (1984).
"War, war is stupid and people are stupid
And love means nothing in some strange quarters
War, war is stupid and people are stupid
And I heard them banging on hearts and fingers"
War, is it coming,?
Winter is, as I tried to watch GOT again and I noticed Brr by the temperature when I got out of the hot tub last night that it’s defo round the corner.
Consultants striking too, in this weeks news, shameful, maybe the NHS should employ more orthpaedic or podiatrist sugeons as surely striking consultants are only shooting themselves in the foot over more money - maybe they probably want as much as Mason Greenwood earns at Getafe. Is there no justice in this world?
So I am going away in my car next week but just to end I can say that even when I went to Tescos after being caught in that jam, I noticed all the Christmas crap being displayed alongside the Halloween shit that people buy to pester their neighbours in October. I m ight collect some of that dogshit and give them a treat if they knock on my door. Anyway, I thought people couldn’t buy that stuff due to this 'cost of living crisis' the way it is and with Wilko’s gone what are we gonna do for cheap prezzies now?
Don’t you get annoyed when people don’t tell you what they want for presents anyway ?
I’m thinking of banning Xmas -
Humbug !!
Poem
I read the news today - Oh boy!
Russell’s in a place he shouldn’t be ?
And though as Nazi’s dressed for a festival of war
There wasn’t anyone, nobody stopped to tell them off or just what for, they just brawled.
I wet myself again today, oh boy
I’m being challenged by my post surgery
I sit at home and wait for me for some recovery and reading all the crap going on in the world makes my life probably better than most people who get bit by bully dogs or watch Rumble.
I watch daily all those dog lovers taking fluffy out for a walk, each morning and evening, they stop and plop and a pick up dogshit - what a life!
and aren’t those XL Bully dogs so cute ? it only ripped off one (arm) this week, the victim has another one and surely it’s the owners not the dogs fault ?
I read the sport today blooming heck, Arsenal sacked their No.1 again, Poor Ramsdale, out of the pecking order and needs some game time Mikel or do you support Spain and Portugal to win the Euros mmmm....
In Scouse land everyone wore green, and nobody in stripey United kit could stop Harry Kane - Although Tuchel was invisible on the touchline again.
I’m going away in my car, next week -amongst the learner drivers and all their dosh they pay for cars, tax and insurance (and petrol, which they can keep now until 2030).
I’ll probably stop a few times - but that’s just me again, recovering from being bored, wearing incontinence trunks and reading all the news.
So long for now ….